Monday, February 16, 2009

Advice: Do I owe my cult a clitoral piercing?

im a nineteen year old college sophomore. im bisexual, and the dorms were not gay/bi friendly (its a rural school). my few good friends are part if a larping group that i belong to and i decided to move into a large house that several of them already shared. kefka, another guy we played with, lived in the house, though i didn't like him too much. he takes it very seriously, and is always talking about how magic is real.

since i moved into the house, i discovered that not only does he believe magic is real, but prticipating in his ceremonies is a part of living in the house. he'll gather everyone around at night and then wave his staff in the air and chant mystical symbols. sometimes house members cut themselves or collapse in religous ecstasy, and some of the people act as though kefka can hurt them with his mind. my friends rose and locke moved in with me, and they dont seem disturbed at all, they just play along.

this weekend, kefka approached me about the subject of genital piercings. i've always considered having mine done, and admitted as much. kefka said that he had been planning an important ritual for a while, but that it required the sacrifice of genital blood, and as long as i was intending on having mine pierced, i should just do it on saturday at the house.

i said that i didn't want to, because it would be unsafe and unsanitary. mostly i didn't want to because i felt like that decision was a personal one, and not one for him or anyone lese in thehouse. but now my roommates are all pressuring me, saying that they know how to make it perfectly safe. i dont want to alienate my friends my continuing to refuse, but i feel like i should have some say over the boundaries of my body. also, if i continue to refuse, i'm worried i'll be asked to move out of the house or possible leave the group, and i don't know what i would do at this school without my friends. what should i do?

feeling pressure about new tribe in college

Just to make sure we're on the same page: You know your friends are being crazy, right? It sounds like you know they're being crazy. In the worst case scenario, they're cult members, in the likelier scenario they're just being weird and lame about you opting out of a wacky social experiment that happens to involve a hole in your clitoris.

Now, sometimes it can be advantageous to compromise with crazy people, as long as you do some thoughtful cost-benefit analysis. This is not one of those cases. First of all, I don't like Kefka either and you shouldn't let him have any more power than he already has (or allow him near your privates.) Also, you do realize that he has his own genitals, right? He is totally free to stab himself in the penis any time he chooses, if he really needs a sacrifice of genital blood, which by the way, also sounds totally stupid.

If your friends are approximately normal social beings, they will forget about the whole thing in a week or two and you can live out the rest of the school year in peace. You probably have to decide next year's housing at around this time, and you'll probably opt to live with the crazies again, which will leave the first half of junior year for you to play out the widening disconnect between yourself and them, and the second half of junior year to flounder unhappily in social limbo and take up interesting extracurriculars. Then, senior year, stars say you meet a cute girl who plays the cello, leaving you free to enjoy the non-infected, not-possessed-by-occult-forces clitoral piercing that you are about to get at the mall.

Chances your post is made up:
Almost certainly, but boy do I love you for it.

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