Tuesday, October 6, 2009

So Downhill

Somehow in the midst of catching Josh up on the whole flesh-eating robot situation, I caught sight of this INCREDIBLY PROMISING headline:

Hugh Jackman Might Join Robot Boxing Flick

Key words here? This sentence is composed ENTIRELY of key words.

However, keep reading:

In between performances of his new Broadway play, Hugh Jackman is negotiating to star in DreamWorks ‘bot flick Real Steel for slapstick auteur Shawn Levy. Should he decide to sign on, Jackman would play a former boxer who promotes matches between 1-ton android gladiators.

Sigh, sigh sigh.

Here, just in case it's not clear why I'm diaspointed,  are examples of acceptable loglines for a Hugh Jackman robot boxing movie:

  • "Hugh Jackman stars as a down-and-out weapons fence offered one last chance in the cuthroat world of ILLEGAL ROBOT BOXING. With Viggo Mortensen."
  • "Marooned in deep space for 7 years, Hugh Jackman and Clive Owen lead an elite cyborg paramilitary wing whose only outlet is BRUTAL INTERNECINE ROBOT BOXING. But as the men's psycological turmoil simmers they seem more an more hell-bent on their own destruction, until an army of deadly clone assassins (played by Milla Jovovich) must remind them of their will to live--the hard way."
  • "Hugh Jackman is a robot that boxes."

1 comment: